Reading

Ever read with your partner for fun?  
Sound boring?  
Try it.


Make something warm to drink - a little tea or cocoa, maybe.  Pack the sofa with pillows and blankets.  Get comfy.    


She asked him to choose from a selection of three books of short stories by authors they both like. He chose Neil Gaiman's "Fragile Things".  

We cuddled up on the sofa and took turns reading a few pages at a time.  Sharing a story from a book is much more intimate than watching a movie together.  Your attention is exchanged with each other rather than the screen.  


Our advice is to cover about 25 pages total.  Reading anything longer than that on a Friday night after a long work week is too much.   You're going to get tongue tied and someone's going to fall asleep. (him)  You could choose a short story, an article, poetry, or even a novel to read together over several weeks.  She thinks a comic book might be funny to try together.  Just make sure it's something you're both interested in flipping through.       


This was a successful Date Night.  It worked within our rules and budget and definitely brought us closer together for the evening. We plan to start reading together on a regular basis.  
     

Pickled Punks

With Halloween right around the corner, spending a date night trying out a freakishly weird craft seemed appropriate.


The following description has been shamelessly copied and pasted from Wikipdia:


Pickled punks is the carny term for human fetuses preserved in jars of formaldehyde and used as sideshow attractions. Most pickled punks display some sort of anatomical abnormality, such as conjoined twins or polycephaly; however, the deformities present are as varied as the nature of human inflictions. Faked pickled punks, made from rubber or wax, are known as "bouncers" for their tendency to bounce when dropped on the floor.

She came downstairs to find the date night area set up with glass jars, fake human organs and plastic baby doll parts.  A little hot glue, some twine and bag of rubber cockroaches were thrown in the mix too.  Romance EVERYWHERE!


Normally we don't use movies during Date Night, but having the cult classic Freaks on in the background seemed appropriate and a bit inspiring.


Our night was spent laughing, catching up on our week and trying to out-gross our parnter's creation.


Her best work featured baby parts felted together and preserved in a solution of cockroaches and coffee.


His best work was a jar displaying conjoined baby heads preserved ala Frankenstein stitches in murky water.

He also tutored her through making her first shrunken head.  It's still drying out a bit... 

 Whether it be October or February, we give this Date Night idea 2 Bloody Thumbs Up!

Good things come in pairs.

So last week we didn't do Date Night. Not because of lingering bad mojo from the week before (although there was some that got worked out Thursday night) but because we had very good friends in town from very far away for a very short time. We could have done Date Night on another day last week, but with one thing and another, we just couldn't find the time.


This week was a really bad week for him at work and he never really had time to figure out something to do. So Friday, at the end of another long day, he made a suggestion for Date Night.
We're not going into details but we'll tell you this much - it's something we like to do, are very good at doing, never get a chance to do as often as we'd like and ist's very, very fun to do.


This is something built into Date Night anyway (we felt like we didn't have to tell you folks about this part) but what made this extra special was the amount of time devoted to it and the amount of time to bask in the afterglow afterward. Being able to do things this intimate together is pretty important and when you can spend a good amount of time doing it, it's better.

Brauts, Brats and Bad Ideas

Not the best Date Night.  He bought brauts and really good mustard.  Nice start.  Five minutes into dinner an argument with the kids bled into an argument with each other.


She had planned to explore a list of 43 different kisses she found on a fun blog.  After the argument the only thing she felt like asking him to kiss was, well, not her lips.  She said she wasn't sure if she wanted to do Date Night because she "wasn't really feeling it."  She went out to clear her head and ended up at the craft store.  She bought a couple of T-shirts for the toddler who just outgrew everything he owned and some fabric crayons.  Shirts $2.50.  Fabric Crayons: 2/$3.50


When she returned home she informed him that if he wanted to do Date Night they could design T-shirts for the baby.  He agreed with little enthusiasm.  Date Night is not supposed to be about the kids.  He thought they could do something like this any night of the week.


It would be nice to report that once they put the music on and got into it, they had a great time.  They laughed and reconnected.  They were able to enjoy being creative together even though the activity was outside the Date Night guidelines.  That's not how it went down.  They designed their T's, talked about what color crayons to use and worked independently at the same table.


The shirts came out pretty cool.  This might be a fun activity for the whole family to do together, but it did not work for Date Night.


There are probably some good lessons to be learned here about things like:
  *Not making Date Night about the kids
  *Trying to be enthusiastic about your partner's idea, even if it's not something you like
  *Not allowing petty fights to sour the mood


Maybe in a few days we'll start reflecting on these lessons.  Right now we're busy being cross.


Better luck next week.

Teamwork

The dinner was a bit more elaborate than usual. He was going to get an "Italian" meal just to be funny but then saw a fondue box and was sold. Yeah, it was close to $12 but he saved some money buying day-old bread. And cheese is good. He also got a small bowl of olive oil and added a bit of pepper, salt, some generic seasoning, and a pinch of garlic powder. Romantic dinner for two, less than $15.


Errands she had to run gave dinner a very late start but he used the time to clean the TV area. Wait, TV? Yes, but he can explain. The kids were still up and fondue is a meal that you need to sit for. So we turned on something for the baby while we ate gobs of cheesy bread and talked about the week, plans for the weekend and plans for Date Night. Don't give us crap about using the TV as a baby-sitter, it's Date Night and whatever keeps the little savages out of our way is a valid option.


So after the monsters were finally in bed and asleep, we got going on Date Night. It was nearly 10:30. Late, yes, but we are committed. So we were off. This week, he decided on juggling. Yeah, it sounds like a cop-out given the Mid-Week check in but he really wants to do this. He's actually tried to do this before.


The thing about juggling is anyone can do it. And any two people can juggle together. Not just in the same room, but with four hands and three balls. Sounds like some manager's team-building schtick, right? Well it's true and it works. After about an hour and a half of picking up balls, laughing, picking up balls, teasing, and picking up balls we got it for a few tosses. We wont be winning any prizes for our juggling talent, but we had a hell of a lot of fun.

Mid-Week check in.

So it's the middle of the week and it's his turn to pick something for Date Night. With work, kids, house up-keep and the rest of the day-to-day how will our intrepid carpenter find time to decide on something to do, not to mention get it ready? Time's running out and he still has no ideas. Well, almost no ideas.
Anytime you find yourself with a free moment is a good time to ponder possibilities. Traffic, while taking shower and doing dishes are all great times. No, not every second of mundane time need be re-assigned to Date Night. If you can sacrifice a few minutes of giving out the beltway salute on your daily commute or skip the third encore of singing into your loofah in the shower, you can find time.

So, our hero may not seem to have a plan as grand or as involved as henna tattoos but he has a few back-up plans just in case inspiration doesn't find him. Simple things yes, but they follow the Rules. Remember, it's about being together, at home, for free or really cheap.
Here are a few ideas for you if get stuck and time runs out.

-Reading-
No, not two people-two books. Find a book and read to each other. A short book that you can get through in a night would be good but a medium or long book could be a standard back-up plan. Take turns reading chapters to each other, employ different voices for characters, add sound effects, or dive in hard and try to set the scene in your reading area. Warning; This is not an excuse to not come up with something to do. Make sure not to fall into the trap of reading if nothing else comes up. This would be the same thing as watching TV. This is for emergencies only. Unless the two of you love the book and agree to keep reading until done.

-Learn to juggle-
No, really. Anyone can learn. No, really. Learning something together is fun, always worthwhile and learning to juggle together might be the funniest thing you've ever done. No need to be fancy. Just get 3 balls and look online for some quick instructions (no balls? Roll up some socks). I promise that if you spend an hour really trying, you'll be able to do it. Then once you get the basic move down, if you want, there's a plethora of tricks and fancy moves to learn. Again, this can be a one time night or something you can do several times a month.

-Music-
He plays bass and she plays guitar. We're lucky enough to already have instruments but you can get basic stuff for a really small investment. Tin whistles (or penny whistles) are pretty cheap at local music stores and you can get them with a "how to" book. Recorders too. Again, no need to go fancy, just get something to play around on. If you both love it, you can invest in something better later. Alright, I hear some of you saying that you have no music store near you or, as in our case, no money for even the crappiest instruments. Make some. Two toilet paper rolls, two rubber bands and some wax paper make two kazoos. Turn on your Date Night playlist and jam along. Go wild, no one can see you and it's not like you don't already do Steve Perry in the shower anyway.

Henna Tattoos

Cruising a thrift store, you can find all sorts of stuff. She was looking for books for the kids when she came across a Henna Tattoo kit for $1.91. Being just within our budget, she picked it up. So after dinner, the older kids, in an act that can be described as "kind" or better described as "suspicious" agreed to watch the baby while she cleaned up the dishes and he cleaned up the area in the basement around the couch. Both not small tasks.

Having a nice, clean place for Date Night is important. Get the half eaten pb&j sandwiches out of there. Pick all of the Tank Engine toys, Hot Wheels cars and all of your unpaid bills up off of the coffee table. Vacuum, dust and de-funk. Get all of the stuff that makes the other days of the week so stressful put away. Light some candles and incense. This night is special, so go for it. For a few hours, it's just us.


We made a playlist of songs on the computer during the week so that was ready to go. Just a few minutes a day, while checking email even, think of songs and add them to a playlist. Then you'll have the songs you both like on hand. Add to it and in a few days you'll have one thing taken care of.


As he was putting the baby to bed, she set up the henna area. And Date Night was off. I can't say the henna was the best work we've ever seen and there were some minor glitches, like when she cut the hole too small and the henna bag burst in her hands. Or when we figured out that the henna was way too watery after he got his tattoo done (it looked like a turtle shit on the back of his hand) but damn, we had fun. We laughed together more last night than we have in a very long time.



So for an idea for Date Night, check out your local thrift store. For a few bucks, maybe you'll luck out and find something worth doing. Or not worth doing but doing together.