We're a working class couple with two kids and a third every other weekend. We've tried to have date night before but due to lack of money, lack of baby-sitters and being just plain lazy, it always disintegrated into watching X-Files re-runs and going to bed early. We tried looking online for ideas but either came up blank or found the same tired cliches (how many Italian meals do these web sites think we can eat?). So here we are; tired, lonely, bored and frustrated. First step, re-committing to setting aside a few hours on a designated night just for ourselves. Second step, find something to do together, with a few rules thrown in. Third step, remember that this is not just about something to do, it's a gift of time to our partner. We thought we'd track what works for us, what doesn't work for us and share what we learn about being parents, having jobs, having no money and still finding time for each-other. After all, we got married because we're madly in love and like being together.



Brauts, Brats and Bad Ideas


Not the best Date Night.  He bought brauts and really good mustard.  Nice start.  Five minutes into dinner an argument with the kids bled into an argument with each other.


She had planned to explore a list of 43 different kisses she found on a fun blog.  After the argument the only thing she felt like asking him to kiss was, well, not her lips.  She said she wasn't sure if she wanted to do Date Night because she "wasn't really feeling it."  She went out to clear her head and ended up at the craft store.  She bought a couple of T-shirts for the toddler who just outgrew everything he owned and some fabric crayons.  Shirts $2.50.  Fabric Crayons: 2/$3.50


When she returned home she informed him that if he wanted to do Date Night they could design T-shirts for the baby.  He agreed with little enthusiasm.  Date Night is not supposed to be about the kids.  He thought they could do something like this any night of the week.


It would be nice to report that once they put the music on and got into it, they had a great time.  They laughed and reconnected.  They were able to enjoy being creative together even though the activity was outside the Date Night guidelines.  That's not how it went down.  They designed their T's, talked about what color crayons to use and worked independently at the same table.


The shirts came out pretty cool.  This might be a fun activity for the whole family to do together, but it did not work for Date Night.


There are probably some good lessons to be learned here about things like:
  *Not making Date Night about the kids
  *Trying to be enthusiastic about your partner's idea, even if it's not something you like
  *Not allowing petty fights to sour the mood


Maybe in a few days we'll start reflecting on these lessons.  Right now we're busy being cross.


Better luck next week.

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